Godfrey and I spent the next two days with my cousin George, now known as Father Theodore, and the other monk who lived in the house whose name was Father Nicholas. He was Russian but had lived most of his life in Chicago.
We sat in the kitchen and talked and drank their home made wine and ate fried potatoes and spaghetti. It was still early in the growing season so there were very few vegetables to eat and no money to buy them. But it didn't matter. We spent lots of time reminiscing about our childhood, which was pretty boring for Godfrey, but eventually got to some topics that we all could relate to, the Stones, Jefferson Airplane and Armageddon(not the band). He told us stories of the mountain, about why they keep the doors to the monasteries locked. He said there are demons and evil spirits that are there to tempt the monks. He told us of a monk who opened his door to find Satan standing before him, in disguise of course, and how the monk leaped upon Satan and started strangling him.
"Are you sure it wasn't a salesman?" I asked.
"No, because when he released him the flesh on his hands was seared."
He told us other more practical things like how wolves come down from Bulgaria when the winters get really cold. When a monk kills a wolf, they hang the carcass in the town and anyone who owns a mule gives the monk fifteen thousand drachma, the idea being it would cost them much more if this particular wolf had killed their mule. It seemed like a great idea and I considered becoming a wolf hunter, but then remembered it would go against my vegetarian philosophy.
He told us there were snakes as big as telephone poles.
He told us that the Greek Government wanted to take over the Holy Mountain and turn it into a big museum with hotels and a casino.
I asked his interpretation of the number 666. Purely from a monk's standpoint, of course. He believed it represented the bar codes that exist on almost every product in America. He thought that one day everyone would have one of those marks tattooed on them and that's how the anti-Christ would know where you are and what you are doing. That made sense.
But there was very little seriousness up there on the holy mountain those two days and nights. There we were, four guys, two of them monks, having a great time, drinking wine. Eating spagetti with cheese and french fried potatoes. And at no time did I ever think, "Golly this is great but I wish there were some women around". Mount Athos is the most elite boys club in the world.
I asked my cousin about staying healthy on the mountain. It seemed such an ideal setting for a natural lifestyle, but he admitted that his health was not good. He and many of the monks had ulcers, which I found hard to believe. What was there to worry about? No bills, no girlfriends. One's fate was entirely in the hands of God.
He explained it to me." Monastic life is not meant to be a vacation. We are not exchanging one set of earthly pleasures for another. We believe that there is a path to God through denial and suffering. The reason for the ulcers has to do with our eating habits. In the large monasteries we all sit down together while one monk stands at the head of the table with a book of scripture. When he starts reading we can start eating and when he stops, we have to stop. It's not what you would call leisurely. The faster he reads, the faster we eat.
But we are not eating to enjoy the taste. We are eating to sustain the body to render service to God."
"And you have the most beautiful water in the world and yet no monks swim, with the exception of the young guy we met on the road," I said.
"Yes." Said Father Theodore. "I know him. He's a little eccentric"
My favorite room was in the basement. Godfrey discovered it on a trip to the bathroom. In it were the skulls of every monk who has ever lived in the Kellion Maroula lined up row after row on shelves. Someday my cousin's would be there.
Finally it was time to go. I don't remember doing much besides sitting around that table talking. Godfrey and I discussed it. We could have hiked around the peninsula and taken in as many sights as we could in those four days, but we both agreed that the experience of hanging out with these two monks, high in the hills, away from the other monasteries, was the way to do it . It was a unique experience that would not be available to many other people. We also agreed that to do it right we would need more then 4 days.
My cousin told us to stay. "They're not going to do anything to you. The only time they know you've stayed too long is when you are leaving and they check your passport. What are they gonna do then? You're leaving anyway."
It made sense, but something in me wanted to go. Something in me wanted to spend my time on Sifnos, meeting Scandinavian girls getting drunk and making love on the beach, playing guitar, riding motorcycles and playing basketball. The spiritual life was pretty cool, from my perspective, but at that point in my life I was more interested in immediate rewards, not the hereafter.
So we left. We walked with my cousin back to Karyes where we caught the bus to Daphne. I remember waving good-bye and wondering if I would ever see him before he was one of those skulls in that basement room.
When we got to the boat we were greeted by the same mad scene as when we arrived. We noticed in the crowd a Greek-American guy around our age speaking to a young red haired monk. I made friends with them on the boat. The Greek-American's name was Nick and he turned out to be a friend of my friend Dino, from Boston college. The monk was named Tom. He was an Irish Catholic from Chicago who came up to Mount Athos to check it out and ended up staying for a year. He started telling us about his experiences in an exuberant way.
"Oh, man, some of these Holy Fathers are heavy. I mean they do miracles, you know, like some of those Eastern gurus".
I imagined my cousin many years before when he first arrived fresh from the sixties. Tom kept on talking and we listened and asked him questions about his life on Athos.
When we got to Ouranopoulos he confided in us, "I'm a little nervous. I haven't been off the mountain in over a year. I don't know what to expect."
Poor Father Thomas was in shock when we got off the boast in the real world. "Look at these women. They're trying to seduce us. Look at their clothes. Look at their lips." He was yelling and we had to quiet him down. I could see his point but somehow it didn't bother me the way it did him. Gradually he adjusted and we all took the bus to Thessaloniki for a real taste of Babylon.
Thomas had some bureaucratic nonsense to deal with but all the offices were closed by the time we arrived so he decided to hang with us. Godfrey and I had made up our minds to take the midnight train back to Athens after we found out all the flights were booked. We found a chicken restaurant and started eating, talking and drinking. It wasn't long before Father Tom was drunk. He kept talking about the mountain and his Holy Father's miracles and the women that walked by, and how drunk he was.
"I'm a shitty monk", he cried.
Finally it was time to go. "Don't leave!" said Father Tom. "I'm having such a good time."
"If we stay any longer, Father Thomas, you'll never go back to the monastery. I think we've corrupted you enough."
We left him waving a tearful good-bye to us on the platform of the Thessaloniki train station..
We were crammed into a compartment for six, with eight other people. Seven of them were soldiers on their way back to basic training in Larissa. In fact the train was completely full of soldiers. The one other non-military inhabitant of our compartment was a Greek kid who lived in Brussels. As the train started to leave the station he and Godfrey decided to make a mad dash to the concession stand for a bottle of ouzo. They made it back to the cheers of the soldiers as the train was beginning to pick up speed.
I felt anti-social and exhausted, so I climbed up into the luggage rack where I thought I would be left alone. I woke up to the sound of the gnashing of teeth, like a wild animal had gotten loose in the compartment. All hell was breaking loose but it was no demon. It was Godfrey. He had finished his bottle of ouzo and was crawling all over everybody, howling and laughing, completely out of control. There was nothing anybody could do but wait until he ran out of steam and passed out. When he spotted me up in the luggage rack it jarred something in his memory and he started trying to climb the walls to get up there with me, stepping on the young soldiers heads, causing cries of anguish that brought a crowd of people to the compartment door to see what was going on. I had to push him back to keep him out of my little nest. He fell back on top of the soldiers, who took it all good naturedly. When I woke up again he was fast asleep, his head on the shoulder of a young corporal.
The next morning came soon for me, but a lot sooner for poor Godfrey. He was still drunk. I had to tie his shoes. I had to put his knapsack on his back. I had to lead him off the train and through the crowd. Then I lost him. I had to double back, find him and wake him up. He had fallen asleep leaning against a trashcan. When we made it out to the street there were no taxis to be found. Every time I left Godfrey to try to hail one, he would crawl off somewhere and go to sleep. We finally found a cab and took it to Godfrey's hotel where I left him at the check-in counter while I went to my room at Andrea's house in the Plaka.
When I came to find him that night he was gone. Not only that, he had never checked in. I could not even imagine what had happened to him. Where could he have gone? It was a mystery that would go unsolved for when he turned up 3 days later, fully recuperated, he had absolutely no idea about what he had done that morning, or on the train, or even why he never got past the desk in the hotel lobby.
We didn't see each other again until we met up on the island of Sifnos. He was with a Swiss guy named Andy. They had met in Tinos and shared an interest in alternative music and had become friends. They were sitting in a cafe on the beach but were going into town to rent motorbikes so they could see the other side of the island.
An hour later they were sitting in the same place. But this time Godfrey was covered in orange mercurochrome and bandages.
"I had an accident", he said, pointing to his bandaged head.
"How did it happen?" I asked him.
"We went to the bike shop and left our deposit and our passports and the guy showed us how to start it up. I took the bike into the street and started it and the bike took off with me on it and drove right off a cliff".
"Was the guy mad?"
"Yeah, he was pretty mad. The bike was totaled."
"Of course we'll have to build a shrine. How long did you ride it?" I asked him.
Andy thought for a moment and answered very matter-of-factly. "It was less then seven seconds". Godfrey nodded in agreement.
I thought about Mount Athos, the serenity. No tourists racing around on motorbikes. No discos blaring music till three in the morning. I thought of myself tending my little garden and talking daily with God. Wandering through the quiet woods or sitting by the sea in total peace.
And then I looked at Godfrey, orange mercurochrome and bandages covering almost every inch of exposed skin,
drinking a beer and laughing as the tourist girls walked by. I sat down next to my friend and ordered a beer. Mount
Athos was great and the afterlife is probably pretty good too. But I'll take my heaven now.